something wrong with me

there must be something wrong with me… because i like the snow. because i like the cold. because i like to take 5 flights of stairs instead of an elevator. because i don't watch tv. because i don't like the radio. or commercials. there must be something wrong with me because i don't need laws. because i don't believe in religion. because i despise money. because i'm embarrassed by my ego. there must be something wrong with me because i don't read, instead i write. because i don't believe in a college education. because i will not trust a doctor. because i do not take pills. i don't care for the city. i just care for it's people. there's something wrong with me because i write rock, i sing rock music i love the sound of rock but i hate rock bands. there must be something wrong with me because i love my community but prefer my space. because i go far to feel near. because my god is in me, and it is here, deep within that i learn about everything. there must be something wrong with me because my knowledge has no school. because i have no hero, no master, no teacher except for one and then me. there must be something wrong with me because i don't want to be safe. because i don't avoid getting hurt. because i think it's good to fight. good to get angry. good to feel all of your feelings because if you don't then your feelings become monsters that eat your soul and the soul of the people around you. because i don't like the word god. i've never trusted it, even as a child. i must be wrong because i think vocalist are the worst singers. because i don't believe in evolution. because i don't believe history, but i'd love to learn herstory. the story of the mother because i'm sick of the story of man. there's something wrong with me because i am not attracted to vampires, not in movies or books or games. the idea of beings that feed on humans is despicable to me. the reality that humans feed on each other is as low as i can imagine life becoming. i don't need to be reminded at every movie, video game and conversation of our capacity for violence. i must be wrong because i want to know the unknown because i want to stretch my mind and earn my joy, i want to think about my music i want to taste food that i don't recognize and love culture i've never known. i must be wrong because i feel wrong when i live "right". because i feel opposite of almost all that i see.

i must be wrong because i am not confused.

i must be wrong because i am never lost to my purpose or my people.

i must be wrong because even though i have nothing, i am king.

an interview i did with batanga

i googled myself tonight for the first time in a very long time and i am extremely surprised by the amount of stuff i found. including this interview i'd totally forgotten about:

Click here to see the interview

proudest monkey

well...i feel very proud of my nomination for best latin jazz vocalist and next generation artist of the year on latin jazz corner. more so than anything else i've been featured in because it's the most real. chip boaz loves latin jazz and has a whole lot of knowledge about this music. his opinion matters so much more than, i dunno... people magazine for example. to see my name on the same list as isaac delgado is... extremely flattering and humbling. i don't expect to win anything, but who cares. i'm on the same list as the guy that wrote 'sandunguita'.



shit is crazy.



so if you've got some time to kill go on over to: http://www.chipboaz.com/blog/best-of-2010/ and vote for your favorites.



i'd like to mention that my label truth revolution records was also nominated for label of the year AND my friend panagiotis andreou is nominated for bassist of the year. hell to the yeah he is.



aight y'all.



- g

cd release

It was, overall, a really great concert. i loved the musicians i shared the stage with, i loved that so many people came out, the club was packed...it was a great night and i had a lot of fun.



but the next is intense. i'm putting together all the video footage leading up to the show as well as the show itself. but my computer is ancient so it takes tiiiiiiiime.



then there natalie's new album that we go into the studio tomorrow morning to record. i'm happy it's happening, she's an amazing singer and cai wrote some very cool arrangements for her. i'm not so happy about the waking up at 8am part. it's 2:15am as i write this...



anyway, thanks to everyone who came and made the night so memorable. i am grateful that so many amazing players played with me up on that stage. mike rodriguez, andy hunter, obed calvaire, the pana, ray west, reinaldo dejesus, julie acosta, AND osmany paredes??? you couldn't get a better band if you had all the money in the world. i am a blessed soul to have access to such an incredible amount of talent. these are really new york cities finest.



goodnight for now.



- g

a promise

it's 2am and i'm tired. it's been a full and beautiful day as many have been recently. and not beautiful because it's easy or even pleasant. beautiful because it was full of things that matter to me and as a result i lived today connected to my happenings and the lessons they brought. i would be in bed instead of writing this right now except i promised myself i would make at least one blog entry a week. and as i've learned and accepted into my way of thinking and observing things, the promises we make to ourselves are the most important promises of all. turns out any promise made in earnest is essentially a promise to the self. i want to remember this for when i have my kids and am blessed with the gift of teaching them this world.

i guess this is what i want to contemplate tonight....

we don't have many good examples in our daily experiences. most of what i can observe is a culture of self service. of me over you. of judgement and feelings of supremacy through violence towards one another. i notice this when i overhear the conversations of passer-by. it's usually someone talking to another about how they were about to beat somebody's ass for disrespecting them. or how this person is a dumbass for blah blah blah. one day i noticed how much like dumb fighting pigs we sound. and then i noticed how much like dumb fighting pigs we are treated by media and entertainment, especially movies and music. i don't understand why i should want to listen to a person, who defines themselves by their ability to purchase material things made by other people, rap or sing about how much better they believe they are than me and everyone else because they can buy stuff with paper. paper that forces us to live compromised lives so that we can buy things that don't make us feel satisfied. i am bored with movies that tell the story of men with guns. popular music and movies are reflections of this world. a reflection of what we accept and believe to be the things that matter. there is nothing we experience as a collective race that we don't deserve.

but when i think of what it is to be a true human being, or full human being i don't imagine a person that is petty and of violence. i imagine a person that is of understanding and wisdom. but it is rare to see someone this way. even our old gain little wisdom. i observe the insecurity of my elders and find it odd that they have grown backwards. instead becoming more steady in their hearts and broader in their minds they become fickle, afraid, stubborn and often dumb.

utter confusion is the best way i can think of to describe our way of being. men and women blind to each other and themselves.

with every year that i get older i feel more blessed for the experience and wisdom of life. i don't feel anxious about my age. i like wearing my years on my skin and eyes like a testament to my value and character. i have survived 32 years with my inner child, creativity, spirit and health not only intact but vastly strengthened and expanded. i am not who i was 5 years ago because i am much, much better. and to think of who i will be in another 5 is exciting. i wish all the people i love felt this way, but i think i am the only one i know. except for maybe one other.

going back to the purpose of this writing: keeping promises i make to my self. this action, the commitment of honoring your intentions, is probably the most effective way of transforming your exterior life. what i mean to say is that by keeping your promises to your self, the way you live your life will change really fast. and for the better. i promise. :)

we should remember to fill our lives of the things that matter most to us. so that we feel connected.

g'night.

- g