Inspiration, I used to think you a shy and quiet girl, easily silenced with too much wantonness. Like the smoke from the incense I burn. Stillness revealed your form... Now I know you to be a fierce and capricious woman who demands  without compromise and deserves to be served. I am yours. Because you, beyond the veil of this so called reality, are me. Thank you everytime. Your word is my command and I've learned to follow as the universe unfolds itself to accommodate your wishes. If only all the world could know your voice as I do. I know you speak to them. But they listen with the wrong ears. We would all be kings!

balance in everything

it's peculiar to notice how life demands not one or the other, but a relative harmony of both. relative because harmony in itself is manifest of tension. so we strive for close enough. for the balance that allows for flow. progress. action. no one is without the other and so we must make room for everything. within ourselves. make room for the ugly and beautiful. the weak and powerful. give space to what is wanting to emerge even, and maybe especially, when what wants to emerge is shameful. give it room to speak and listen lest the monster grows in the shadows, sabotaging our attempts at control in those moments when our discipline is weak. when our defenses are down. all shadow transforms to light. the monsters become beautiful. teachers. what once was a demon threatening to consume becomes the lover waiting to heal.

it's not easy, but we must trust.

trust and sit with the pain. the shame. the tensions of our lives. the pendulum swings in order to know both ends. but if we do not observe and experience the shifts then the shifts grow loud and our balance weak. our gravity suspect to the will of those around us and we can become quite unlike our Selves.

i am learning.

to sit with pain is beautiful. and i have never felt so grateful. when joy comes, my arms are open and my eyes wide, i look at her like art. and when sorrow comes, i no longer brace myself, i no longer run or hide but welcome joys' sister with compassion and solemn awe. she is just as lovely a queen. i used to think life a high vs low. now i know it's a sphere of grace.

thank god.

- g