it's peculiar to notice how life demands not one or the other, but a relative harmony of both. relative because harmony in itself is manifest of tension. so we strive for close enough. for the balance that allows for flow. progress. action. no one is without the other and so we must make room for everything. within ourselves. make room for the ugly and beautiful. the weak and powerful. give space to what is wanting to emerge even, and maybe especially, when what wants to emerge is shameful. give it room to speak and listen lest the monster grows in the shadows, sabotaging our attempts at control in those moments when our discipline is weak. when our defenses are down. all shadow transforms to light. the monsters become beautiful. teachers. what once was a demon threatening to consume becomes the lover waiting to heal.
it's not easy, but we must trust.
trust and sit with the pain. the shame. the tensions of our lives. the pendulum swings in order to know both ends. but if we do not observe and experience the shifts then the shifts grow loud and our balance weak. our gravity suspect to the will of those around us and we can become quite unlike our Selves.
i am learning.
to sit with pain is beautiful. and i have never felt so grateful. when joy comes, my arms are open and my eyes wide, i look at her like art. and when sorrow comes, i no longer brace myself, i no longer run or hide but welcome joys' sister with compassion and solemn awe. she is just as lovely a queen. i used to think life a high vs low. now i know it's a sphere of grace.
thank god.
- g
No comments:
Post a Comment